he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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