I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
