you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
