I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
