dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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