Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
