i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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