we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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