Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
