Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
someone owes me an orgasm
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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