hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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