My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
