i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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