I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
