I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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