No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
