I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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