Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
