Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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