im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
