She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
