Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He has the fingertips of a God
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize