Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
