Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't deserve a penis
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
