So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
