is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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