Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
