Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
