are you still at the devil's house?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
