Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
