Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize