We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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