I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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