Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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