that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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