peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hippo gnu deer
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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