it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
