she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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