i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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