you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
