Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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