this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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