i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
