Swine flu. Run for my life!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
