I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
