Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
