I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
