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You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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