Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
