I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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