im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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