jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
