Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
