i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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