why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
