Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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