if you like me you must not know who I am
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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