yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
