it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
