She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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