I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize