Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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