Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
