He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
